Living in a time of change

I recently attended an online lecture from John Gray, one of the UK's most influential living philosophers.

Speaking from Bath Royal Literary and Scientific Institution, he drew our attention to the enormous social upheavals which have always been a feature of society, in contrast to the relative calm of the 20th century for those living in countries like the UK.

He didn't shy away from some difficult ideas about what the future may bring, and it was a hard listen. But there were also moments of inspiration around how to live in times of change.

Here's what I took away (and this is my lay person's summary)

💡 History shows us there is upheaval ahead. When times are unsafe, don't look for safety, look for opportunities.

💡Don't get too attached to your plans. In an unpredictable world, plans are always subject to change and may change surprisingly fast.

💡Far better to attach yourself to people, to animals, to loved ones.

💡Don't try to go against your nature. Understand your nature and live accordingly.

💡Don't be too worried about finding the meaning of life; keep your eyes and ears open and the meaning of life will present itself to you.

Instead they are an invitation to think about how to navigate this world which is in turmoil and promises so much more change ahead (AI, climate change, political upheaval...). I'll be musing on these thoughts for a while. I hope they inspire you too.

And I heartily recommend keeping an eye out for upcoming online or in-person lectures at the BRLSI. A brilliant institution hosting highly relevant philosophical discussions.

Coaching for Empathy, Communications and Leadership Skills

Are you a high-achiever who has hit a ceiling? Are you increasingly being told you should show more empathy, improve your communication skills or elevate your team leadership? And - this is the crucial part - you believe you ALREADY have these skills?

Why aren’t your abilities being recognised? Where is the disconnect?

I can help you figure this out. Coaching sessions with me involve;

• diving deep into your leadership style, uncovering nuances and potential blind spots
  

• identifying and honouring your strengths, looking at how these might be undervalued by the organisation (and perhaps by you)
  

• space to think about how much you want to adjust. Change is no good if it makes you lose sight of yourself, your values or your greater sense of purpose in life

I work relationally, giving real-time feedback on what it feels to be like with you, which can be a rare and valuable experience. Sessions with me can be challenging, and I will push you to think about old problems in new ways. Clients regularly tell me the effort is worth it, as they gain better self-awareness and find ways to lead which feel both authentic and sustainable.

Every session is focused on what is best for you, with a strong emphasis on practical application.

If this sounds like the coaching partnership you've been looking for, go to my services page for more details.

Getting started with finding a therapist

I'm a volunteer counsellor for Mind and I love the Time to Talk campaign. Lives can be changed when we find #timetotalk. If you're thinking of finding a professional to talk to, here's some tips I've learned as a therapist:

It's ok to shop around

Not everyone clicks with the first therapist they see. If you aren't feeling the vibe with your therapist, find another one! If you aren't feeling it, chances are they aren't either. They would rather see you find someone you are more comfortable working with.

Therapy should be a little bit hard

Think of it like going to the gym. If you keep coming away from sessions without feeling like you've done any work, it might not be the best use of your time. But hard work shouldn't do damage. Like the gym, there is a difference between good pain and bad pain. Trust yourself to know the difference, and move on if you need to.

Therapy isn't just for life's crisis points

If you want to think deeply about your life, where you are going and what your purpose is, you can find a therapist to support you in what we call ‘deep work’. Try searching for existential therapists or trans-personal therapists as a starting point.

Online and face to face therapy have different benefits

Both are great, but it's a different experience. Something powerful happens when two people share the same physical space. If you can manage it, it's really worth venturing out into the cold and finding parking.

Online therapy can be a really practical choice if you have difficulties traveling to see someone in person. It can also open up a world of possibilities. Don't be afraid to think outside the box. If you live abroad and struggle with feeling like a foreigner, maybe get an online therapist in your home country. If you've ever thought about relocating, seek out a therapist from the place you're thinking about moving to. Ever wanted to see a New York analyst or French Existentialist? Just search and book! Start by looking for the main qualifying organisations in the country, then search their lists of therapists.

Good luck with your search, and please keep making #timetotalk.